This picture is at least 5 years and 50lbs ago, {back when I was happy, those jeans were a size 8 people!} It's my motivation!
My weight “issue” started about 2 years ago. You’d think heartbreak and being miserable would make you loose your appetite, but it had the opposite effect on me. So after I scraped myself off the bathroom floor, I drug my size 12 ass to the couch and drowned my miserableness in flavor blast pizza flavored goldfish crackers and bottles of Foxhorn Chardonnay and stayed there till yesterday! I gained 10 lbs and had to lay down to button my pants and they’d leave an indention around my waist for hours after I took them off, but thought…no big deal, they can still button! And then became the summer of the full skirts, and going up 1 size isn’t THAT big of a deal. All the while still sitting on that couch feeling sorry for myself, because the life I had been playing pretend for the past 5+ years was gone! And all my friends were married and who was going to ever want me? So there I sat tivo’ing every Food Network show I could find, so that I could sit on the couch again the next night. And then another summer came, and this season was full of the elastic waist gaucho’s…thankfully they came in letter sizes instead of numbers; cause an extra large is much easier to swallow than dare I say it, a 16! And once I got to that size, I had the constant thought of, who will ever want me? Aside from those weird-o guys on the Motel Williams show, that just LOVE fat chicks! Then it was like I had to fulfill that destiny…I had to stay big, so I’d have an excuse to not fall in love , and possibly have my heart ripped from my chest, again! It’s my crutch. Check that, WAS my crutch. And that just about brings us to present day!
I had originally planned on being, light hearted and funny in this post; to play my usual roll as the overweight funny friend. But, instead chose to be honest, vulnerable and broken (Lesli, that was especially for you!) because if I fail, I will not just be letting myself down, and my 3 fellow fat chicks, but also all of you who have chosen to follow this journey.
My good friend Kellie Raspberry says that you won’t loose weight until you FINALLY decide to. And you might decide to several time, but it’s not until you really decide to that you know that all those other times you were just pretending! So, here I am saying to the world wide web….I’ve decided!
